༺ Entanglement (2) ༻
1.
As soon as Amelia returned to her room, she collapsed, as if her legs had lost all their strength.
The intense excitement that resembled the scorching heat of the desert gradually faded, replaced by a sense of self-loathing.
She held herself responsible for succumbing to the temptation she should have resisted.
Intertwining her body with him at that moment was something that she should have never done.
After all, his memory hadn’t fully returned yet.
She hated herself for seducing Siwoo with her body when he knew nothing about their full circumstances. Not to mention that she did it to fulfill her own selfish desires.
Not only that, she also should have not uttered those apologies.
There was also her audacity that expected him to forgive her once his memories returned.
“Hic…”
Fear overwhelmed her.
Of the gaze he would cast upon her.
She dreaded the possibility of him harboring hatred in his heart after remembering everything.
Just a while ago, she believed she could endure any harsh words as long as he was safe.
But, as she spent the joyous days with him, her heart began to change.
It became more feeble.
She felt that she could no longer bear to see his quick growth.
“Master… What should I do…?”
No matter how hard she pleaded, no one gave her an answer.
Her chest tightened, suffocating her. The sensation was akin to drowning.
-Thud!
Suddenly, a certain potion bottle rolled around her feet. At this point, she was trying to suppress her cries, afraid that they might reach Siwoo’s ears.
She picked it up absentmindedly.
“If only I didn’t have this…”
She thought that if this unidentified potion given by Duchess Keter didn’t exist, she could continue on living this life forever.
Spending her days with Siwoo in this cabin, where their happy memories continued to build up, receiving his affectionate gaze.
In this domain of forgotten truths and comforting falsehoods, they could share words of love, delve into magical research, paint various paintings, play the violin, bake pies and take leisurely strolls.
“Happy…forever…”
When she murmured those words, magic particles floated in her hand.
These miniscule particles possessed the power to instantly evaporate the bottle down to its content through an intense heat.
‘If only I could be a little more cunning.’
‘If only I could compromise just a little.’
‘This would be my last attempt to run away.’
She was aware that this was an action that she shouldn’t take.
It was an action that would trample his free will.
‘But, wasn’t he also happy living his life with me?’
During this month they had spent together, Amelia had seen more of his smiles compared to the five years of his life as her slave.
Besides…
She could always make it up by giving him a happier life in the future.
As long as she could give him back the happiness that she took from him, for as long as his lifetime, until the day he grew old and left this world.
If she were to multiply that happiness she stole, then…
As she drew the flame closer to the tag attached to the bottle, something caught her attention.
The floral crown Siwoo had made for her.
She used a preservation spell on its wreath and hung it by the window like a dreamcatcher.
This was the gift that Siwoo had given to her back when he was still in the form of a young boy.
The moment her eyes fell upon it, the mana in her hand was dissolved into nothingness.
Her frenzy vanished in an instant, as if it was wiped away by an unknown force.
“I can’t…do it…”
She couldn’t do such a thing.
It was something that she should never do.
Amelia slowly hunched her body.
Her soundless sobs continued until late into the night.
2.
As he tidied up his blanket, Siwoo touched his lips.
To him, Amelia was the one who took care of him from back when he was unable to function as a person.
Everything felt enjoyable as long as he was with her.
Even the mundane and tiresome chores turned into a joyful moment whenever she was there.
She was his benefactor, reliable mentor and his first love.
“I’m going insane…”
Siwoo grabbed his head and plopped down on the bed.
His lips and tongue still tingled with heat.
From the hot kiss they shared.
The moment when he passionately intertwined his tongue with hers, he felt the thread holding on to his rationality snapped.
Even though he believed that they weren’t in that kind of relationship, he touched her chest confidently and pushed her down on the bed.
In truth, he remembered that he previously saw her breasts, touched them and even sucked on them.
However, for him, who had regained ten years’ worth of memories in just a month, that memory felt hazy and distant, as if it had happened ages ago back when he was still a young boy.
He was aware that the action he had taken back then, when he was both physically and emotionally immature, and now, when he had a resolute mind and mature body, held different meanings.
‘What would she think about this matter?’
“This is so fucking confusing.”
Siwoo pulled his hair in frustration.
Yes, he knew that Amelia held some level of affection for him.
There was no way to confirm whether it was the affection shown by a guardian toward someone she was responsible for, or the affection held between a man and a woman. However, she accepted his kisses willingly earlier.
She didn’t resist when he made a move to explore her body.
‘So, why did she resist at the last moment?’
Siwoo couldn’t comprehend it.
‘I also yearn for what you desire…’
‘But… I don’t deserve it… I’m not worthy of it…’
After saying those words, she left the room.
“She yearns for what I desire…”
‘Did she really know what I wanted? For her to speak of it with that certainty…’
“But she isn’t worthy of it…”
‘What did she mean by not being worthy?’
He couldn’t understand anything.
Although he couldn’t fully grasp the details, he vaguely recalled a similar situation.
Once upon a time, he had a friend.
This friend was in the phase of a subtle relationship with Girl A, a fellow student at his school.
He told Siwoo that when Ms. A made the first move and asked him out on a date, he responded by taking a picture of his erect dick and sending it to her. The girl was so shocked that she reported it to the school and he ended up getting expelled.
“That crazy bastard.”
Remembering that absurd anecdote, he let out a chuckle.
When he first heard that story, he remembered that he thought, ‘You’re lucky that you could be a host now.’
In any case, the current situation resembled that one.
Of course, his case wasn’t as extreme as Takasho’s. But, he couldn’t help but feel remorse, thinking that he acted as impulsive as him—
Lost in his thoughts, Siwoo suddenly felt a sense of unease.
“Takasho?”
‘Who?’
At that moment, memories passed by like a fleeting panorama.
Two men’s smiling faces as they conversed in a shabby room.
The other person’s face remained obscure, as if a veil had draped over it, impossible to discern clearly.
At the same time, his head started to ache.
“Ahh, not again…”
Shortly after consuming the potion given by Amelia, his memories would become tangled.
Various images and voices swarmed his mind, as if he was watching multiple TVs simultaneously.
He felt an intense throbbing pain in his left eye, as well as momentary nausea.
“Ack!”
He experienced an excruciating pain comparable to being pierced by a sharp needle, rendering him unable to even let out a scream.
Siwoo remained still on the bed, trying to endure the hellish pain for a while.
After around ten minutes, the pain suddenly vanished, as if it had never existed.
However, his entire body was drenched in sweat from the intense pain he had endured.
“W-What was that…?”
In haste, he attempted to find Amelia.
All things considered, this was all caused by the potion Amelia had given him.
He had to inform her about his abnormal state.
As he struggled to stand and walk, a sense of unease washed over him.
Darkness engulfed his left eye.
This was a situation that he had anticipated.
According to Amelia, he had lost his left eye during a battle.
His originally empty eye socket was filled with a prosthetic eye and covered with an eyepatch.
However, he could feel that this darkness was different.
It wasn’t caused by the lack of eyeball that resided in its original place. Instead, it felt as if something was obstructing his vision.
Siwoo untied the strap encircling the back of his head and removed the eyepatch.
In that instant light poured in, as if trying to burn his left eye.
It felt as though someone who had been trapped in complete darkness for a long time suddenly had their vision flooded with light, overwhelming their unused optic nerves.
“Argh…!”
However, that momentary discomfort quickly subsided as his eyes quickly adjusted to the light.
‘What the hell is going on?’
Siwoo covered his left eye and made his way towards the dressing table unsteadily.
“Why is this happening?”
The once prosthetic eye now seemed to be able to move as he desired, as if it was a natural part of his body.
Through his left eye, he could distinctly perceive objects and see his reflection in the mirror.
His vision had recovered.
However, there was a notable difference in his left eye compared to his right one.
A brilliant golden hue shimmered on it.
Not only that, intricate mathematical formulas repeatedly appearing and fading away like tattoos on the white part of his eye.
But, the strange phenomenon didn’t end there.
“Huh?!”
A haze of light emanated from his surroundings, startling him and prompted him to turn around.
Something was floating in front of him.
Lines in various shapes and colors came into view.
Those faint, delicate lines floating like currents, drifting not only within the room but also throughout different locations.
At first, he disregarded it as hallucination, something that was caused by his optic nerves after encountering light for the first time in a long time.
However, his instinct recognized what it actually was.
The flow of mana.
With every flick of his fingers, it would fluctuate like catching a thread floating on the surface of water and then returning to its original state.
“That’s…amazing…”
It was a mesmerizing sight that defied his comprehension of magic.
The suspended flow of mana in the air, generally speaking, was very very small.
Trying to visually observe those pristine strands of mana was impossible as they’d instantly disperse upon a closer examination.
Using magic to do it would only disrupt the flow itself.
Siwoo’s heart nearly skipped a beat as he inadvertently turned his gaze to look at the desk.
As he looked at the magic formulas he had scribbled down while trying to recall his memories, some of the characters leaped out, as if he were watching a 3D movie.
He widened his eyes, fixated on the sight.
In Ain, magical circles existed in three or even higher dimensions.
Magic formulas were merely one of the means to transfer those higher dimensional circles onto a media that could hold two-dimensional forms.
However, by simply gazing at those formulas, it was as if he began to perceive the essence of magic, as if he was inside the Ain itself.
Like reading sheet music and vividly hearing an orchestra playing the same note in his mind.
An incredibly peculiar and bewildering experience.
Siwoo raised his hand and covered his left eye.
In an instant, the three dimensional model disappeared.
When he lowered his hand, the three dimensional model appeared.
“Interesting.”
For Siwoo, who had been passionately immersing himself in magical research to the point that he neglected his mathematical research, it was an incredibly thrilling experience.
Before informing Amelia of this strange phenomenon, he had something he wanted to test out.
In truth, he felt embarrassed to face her immediately after the shameful incident just a moment ago.
He took out a magical formula that he had transcribed in his mind.
Despite not comprehending any of it, his mind retained all the complex equations spanning over two hundred pages.
He deduced that this must be one of his most important memories.
As he flipped through the stack of papers, he felt a jolt in his head.
With a sensation of his body tumbling backward, he descended further and further into the abyss of endless darkness.
When he regained his consciousness, he found himself in a certain realm of darkness.
It was ‘Ain’, the realm that resembled the vast expense of the universe, surrounded by the endless darkness.
This was the realm of conceptualization that only witches that were well-versed in their self-essence magic could access.
And he had been granted entry into this space that he had only ever heard about.
At the center of the dimly illuminated Ain, stood a colossal structure.
Its form was circular, like a ring. It resembled a gathering of black shadow and at the same time, it resembled a massive loom. And it also resembled something he failed to recognize.
Despite him seeing it clearly with his own eyes, he experienced a sense of cognitive dissonance as he was unable to fully recognize its shape.
It was as if he was looking at being of a higher dimension, an existence beyond the realm that he knew.
“…”
What stood before him was Shin Siwoo.
A slightly older Shin Siwoo than he currently was.
When he reached his late 20s, he’d probably look like that.
The other Siwoo expressionlessly sat on a throne of shadow as he intently gazed at the structure before him.
“Did they say that something like this is possible?”
He had heard of Ain prior to this, but the notion of another presence existing within that space, even if it resembled his own, was unfathomable to him.
The other Siwoo turned his head.
Their eyes met.
At that moment, black chain coiled around Siwoo’s entire body.
Before he could say anything, he was thrown out of Ain.
Everything happened in an instant.
He could only stand there in bewilderment. As he was about to wipe the cold sweat trickling down his forehead…
Memories surged into his mind, filling his head with knowledge of magic.
Like a dam being burst open, a huge amount of information penetrated his brain.
While absorbing it all, he stood dazedly for a long while.
Something within him started to change.
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