༺ That’s Me ༻
[by the way, oppa, what’s your alt account again?]
After reading Doah’s message, I double-checked the username of the account I purchased.
[HairLossNotSin]
I randomly bought this account because I wanted a cheap, low-ranked account, but…
It felt like there was some kind of story behind this account…
A heartbreaking one, probably…
Anyway, after we finished our lunch, I immediately went home, meanwhile Doah stayed at campus because she had a liberal arts class to attend.
The misunderstanding from yesterday’s game was resolved, and all was well.
After that lie, I became an unrelated third-party and even got to date my oshi in game.
I really wanted to go tryhard, carry her, and show how good I was, but after realizing that I’ve shown her my ugly side, it felt like I got a hard slap from reality.
Ha… Life…
Integrity.
All those wise men of old were true. One should not do wrong things even when one is alone.
No more toxic Taemin from now on.
From this day onward, I would not flame anyone and keep my toxicity off the chat, even when I was in soloq.
[im online!]
Seeing Doah’s text, I immediately tabbed into the Voicecord window.
[join call!]
– Triring triring
When the call started, I cleared my throat a few times and hit the answer button.
「Ah. Ah. Hello?」
「Yeah! Oppa! I can hear you!」
Somehow, Doah’s voice sounded more Luka-ish. Maybe it was because I couldn’t see her face right now?
Also, maybe it was just me, but…
She felt more active in front of the monitor.
「Can you invite me?」
「Yes!」
When the game invite notification arrived, I clicked the Accept button.
Next to my profile was a familiar user.
cherriestastegood.
Uh… About yesterday… Sorry…
「Shall we start now?」
「Sure.」
Because we started a norms, we immediately found a match.
「Doah, which champions do you usually play?」
I already knew the answer, but I pretended not to and asked her that anyway.
「For enchanters I usually play Yuumi or Lulu, but if we need a tank I can play Nautilus.」
Had she ever played Nautilus…?
I didn’t remember that.
Anyway, I had a taste of her Yuumi yesterday, so I wouldn’t let her use that cat again this time.
「Lulu should be okay.」
「What are you going to play, Oppa?」
「Lulu’s renowned soulmate.」
As a portrait of the short-legged monster marksman, Twitch, appeared on the screen, Doah exclaimed.
「Ooh… The classic duo!」
「All you need to do is to buff me when I tell you to, okay?」
「Hey, Oppa. I’m an all-rounder you know. I know what I’m doing.」
Ah. Seriously, please stop that all-rounder bullshit.
There was a reason why you were a hardstuck bronze, Woman.
「Ah, sure, sure.」
When the game started and the loading screen appeared, Doah trailed off as if she had something to say.
「That… Oppa…」
「Huh?」
「Oppa, do you have hair loss perhaps?」
I let out a smirk.
「No, I don’t, I still have plenty of hair. Didn’t you see me at campus today?」
「But, that username…?」
This was the new account I bought because I got busted by you yesterday.
「Changed it to that because my friend’s crying about his hair loss.」
「Wow, that’s just mean, Oppa.」
I know. Why do you think I sent some heinous things in your chat?
As we entered the game, I had a hunch that it would be hard for us to dominate our lane.
「Doah.」
「Yeah?」
「Dodge his bandage as much as you can. If I get hit by it, just leave me, okay?」
Our opposing laners were Kalista and Amumu, the notorious lane bully duo.
Seriously, this was just a norms.
Like, chill. The fuck you were bringing those two for?
Now, forget carrying, we’d just end up feeding in our lane instead.
「Yes!」
As always, my bad premonition always hit the mark.
「Oppa…?」
「Doah, leave me! Just go back!」
This Amumu was cracked. Whenever I made a misstep, he kept q-ing me.
「Ah, I’m dead…」
Their ADC’s spear hit my champions, earning them a kill.
We were facing a lane bully comp, which meant their early game was strong. Meanwhile, our comp needed to scale; We’d only be able to contend mid-to-late game.
What we were supposed to do was to play the early game safely.
But both of us had already died twice in ten minutes.
「…We’re screwed aren’t we?」
「Let’s just pray for now.」
That was all we could do anyway. No, not for our lane, but for our top to do well.
「But, if our jungler comes, can’t we make a comeback somehow?」
It seemed that Doah was still holding onto a glimmer of hope, but I couldn’t easily give her a definite answer.
「If anything, if our jungler were to come and feed the guy even more, we’d just be completely screwed.」
「If I ult, shield, and speed him up, won’t he get them?」
Doah-tan… Were you saying that you’d abandon me…? To be with someone better than me…? The jungler…?
At the thought of getting NTR’d by my jungler, I became heartbroken.
「Doah.」
「Yeah?」
「You should just roam.」
If she were to stay with me hugging the bot tower, we’d probably get double killed.
It would be better if you could at least survive.
At least, you could contribute to this victory…
「Is that okay, Oppa?」
「It would be better than having both of us killed.」
When I made my point in a serious tone, Doah became speechless for a while.
Instead of responding to me, she pinged me instead.
The screen displayed Lulu’s determination to head to the bottom tower.
「Still. At least I’ll be with you, Oppa…」
「Doah…」
Ah. This was a little touching.
This was no different than saying she wanted to be buried alive with a corpse.
「If we’re going to die, then let’s die together. Hehe.」
…Cute.
How was it possible for someone to be this cute?
Those words were so cliche, but I could feel my heart pounding because of it.
「All right! I’ll give it my all!」
– The Nexus has been destroyed.
The result was obviously a disaster.
In mere twenty minutes, our team lost our base and the Nexus was destroyed.
[KASITX: Ah, of course I lost because of a fucking bot gap. Motherfuckers.]
When our hope, the jungler, began to say something toxic, I promptly hit the exit button.
「Ah~ That was a nice warm-up game wasn’t it, Doah?」
「Right? It’s the first game, so I was a little nervous.」
Me, a die-hard streamer’s fan.
Doah, the idol streamer.
Ignoring reality, we exchanged words back and forth as if we were doing a skit.
「Quick, quick. Let’s get to the next game.」
Alright, now was the time to make up for the last game.
「Oppa, should we get serious this time?」
「Sure, let’s get a win this game.」
For this game, Doah picked Yuumi, meanwhile I picked Lucian.
As long as I played well enough, this duo could easily take down anyone in our lane.
Yesterday I couldn’t give any instructions because we were playing separately, but that wasn’t the case today.
「Doah, if you see them low on HP, just cast your spells, okay?」
「Okay!」
This time, our performance in the early game was better than in the previous game.
We won our lane, and even managed to push the enemy team back to their base.
「What do you think? I’m cracked, aren’t I?」
「Yeah! I didn’t expect you to be this good!」
In our previous game, our enemy was way more skilled, so this game should be easier. Or so I thought…
「No! My dear!」
There was a quote from a famous comic book.
When five people got together, one of them was garbage.
And this game was no exception.
Ignoring my warning pings to gtfo since the wave was pushing towards us, our jungler just decided to invade the enemy’s jungle out of nowhere.
Our enemy didn’t hesitate and immediately rushed at him delightfully. Now that their jungle had a bigger level gap, he began to hover over our previously hard-winning lane.
「…Oppa. I think we’re going to die.」
「I think so too.」
As the large stacked minion wave started pushing towards us, I felt an overwhelming pressure.
「Should we run away now?」
「Aah… But if we give up all this CS, the game’s pretty much over.」
No, seriously.
If we were to abandon this wave and recall our base, that would be the equivalent of giving them more than two free kills.
But there was no point in arguing over this.
This was because the enemy jungler, the boar rider Sejuani, had ulted me in the face.
「…Hey. Move. What happens if you fall here?」
「Well… Being hit by that means you’re as good as dead.」
Unfair. This was fucking unfair.
This was how I die?
I couldn’t win when I played badly, obviously, but I also couldn’t win when I played well?
Seriously, I just wanted to score some good points with Doah, but my luck just gave me a big fuck you.
In the end, even the hard-fought bottom lane went back to square one, and we crumbled helplessly in the end.
「Aah..! Fuck, that’s annoying. Actual jungle gap. Our jungle is a fucking bot!」
I knew Doah was still here, but if I didn’t at least curse like this, I swear I’d go insane.
「I don’t know why that guy kept on throwing!」
She agreed with what I just said. I guess she must have been upset too.
Haah… I knew you were the only one who could understand me, Doah…!
「By the way, Oppa. Can I say something?」
「What is it?」
Which one would she insult now? Our top? Or mid?
She paused for a moment, making me wonder what she was going to say.
「Honestly, I think your friend yesterday is better than you, Oppa.」
…Oi. That’s me.
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