༺ GM Disqualification ༻
I am disqualified as a GM.
As someone disqualified as a GM, I was 『deprived』 of the right to be bipedal. Even being quadrupedal was too extravagant for me. I crawled on the floor, using my back and stomach muscles to diligently move my worthless body.
No, I shouldn’t call myself worthless. It was because of my crawling that Lord Dust was wiped clean……..
It would have been better for me to become a stone just like this and live eternally. Such a punishment was only fitting for one who had broken a taboo!
The passing Tower Master saw me turned into stone and asked with concern.
“Why are you like this…….? Didn’t it all end well? Is it perhaps because the fireworks event we prepared all night got skipped?”
That really was a bit of a pity. According to the plan, as soon as the 『Beer and Song』 operation started, hidden fireworks around the city were to begin exploding. The festival atmosphere would ripen and merry songs would start to spread stealthily by the planted instigators.
But alas, there was a problem with the fireworks set up on the church spire and they didn’t ignite! Irid and Centra would use the grappling gun again to head towards the spire, against the backdrop of a moonlit night with bursting fireworks.
The two would sit snugly in the spire’s watchtower, setting off the final fireworks of farewell. Colorful fireworks burst and the loud noise made it hard to hear each other’s voices. Centra would say something to Irid.
Because he couldn’t hear it over the fireworks, Irid would be puzzled. What could Centra be talking about? Since Irid couldn’t hear, Centra would decide to show through her actions. With a deep kiss as the finale, accompanied by fireworks!
That was Plan A: Ending.
“O-Or is it because……you couldn’t deliver the last line of Ronya?”
That was also a bit of a pity. According to the plan, after the Second Prince received a couple more attacks, she would experience the backlash of doping. Ronya would spit blood and slump down, before desperately asking in a screaming voice.
“Aren’t you resentful of the dogs of the Kingdom Alliance, Irid!! You, too, just because of your blonde hair, suffered all kinds of torment for having Imperial Blood! You want revenge, don’t you? I know you want to kill them all-!!”
“So I have to give up on my revenge because of that bitch Centra?! I have bet my life on revenge, but just because her daddy was the former leader, I had to follow those retarded commands about bullshit peace and songs-!!”
Since I had set the stage for such a cool scene, the Second Prince just needed to deliver any swaggalicious line! Boom! Done deal! In case he needed time to think due to a brainfart, I was ready to slow down time.
It would have been nice if he came up with a line that embodied his goals and identity. Anything would have been fine. “Because I love Centra.” would’ve been okay and even a line like “You incurred my wrath!” would do…….If he said that, I was even ready to play an electric guitar track as BGM.
And it wasn’t like we would have only shown this if the Second Prince succeeded in parrying twice!
Even if the Second Prince just pretended to block, Ronya’s attack would have been stopped. After all, the player should meet a happy ending. It was too cruel to throw them into the depths of a bad ending just because of a lousy dice roll or a failure in deduction!
After all, players should always look cool!
At that time, I was the one who boarded Ronya and controlled her. It was so hard to scream with a metallic voice…….I was also prepared for a sudden loss of strength due to the doping side effects, thus going “Keuk, my head…..!” and giving him some time to rest.
I had prepared all the hospitality, but this crazy ass motherfucker……..no, I mean, the Second Prince…..Who knew he would go for an embrace out of nowhere? None of the seventeen simulations I ran had that.
Maybe I underestimated the Second Prince’s madness. As much as I claimed it was safe, what was he thinking, just dying like that without hesitation?
……Of course, watching Irid dying and Centra weeping while acting devastated was somewhat satisfying. I enjoyed it secretly, clapping in my heart. I didn’t expect Centra to deliver the lines so deliciously. I was ready to manually input if necessary, but as expected, AI should learn on its own.
Anyway, that was Plan B: The Final Battle.
“Or if it’s not even that, is it because……you couldn’t use the panty modeling you’ve been working on for three days?”
“That really is a shame, though. Like, truly.”
“I, I was just joking! Why are you seriously disappointed about it………?!”
Panties, to add three spoonfuls of exaggeration, were the soul of a character. Even the same noble Lady-type character changed instantly depending on what she wore inside. It was also the epitome of romance.
I could talk about this topic for five and a half A4 pages. You see, even if I applied it right now to underneath the skirt of the Purple Magic Tower Master…….
Come to think of it, the cause of all my pain and torment was the Tower Master in front of me.
When I shot her a glare full of resentment, the Tower Master looked bewildered, as if she couldn’t follow the situation. Illusions in the shape of question marks swirled around her.
The reason I was disqualified as a GM, the reason for my pain, was because…….
At the very, very end, I stopped Centra from kissing……….
That…..That scene was supposed to be the finale. A tribute as well as the bare minimum reward offered to Second Prince Irid, who had only been rolling around like an idiot. I would have stopped it before they started kissing with tongue; there was no data for that. If he had put his tongue in her mouth, it probably would have tasted like curry udon because of the dummy data.
But still, at least a kiss…..The soft touch of lips should have been left in his memories.
But I ruined it all.
If there had been a rational reason for my decision……….No, it didn’t even have to be rational. If it was just aesthetic, I wouldn’t have been this tormented. Something like how I enjoyed tragedy, so I wanted to fuck over the Second Prince right until the very end…….
But that wasn’t the reason.
The lip sensation data inputted into the Virtual Reality came from the ‘Tower Master’s Smooch Shootings Incident’ that occurred after the 30-fold grant announcement. At the time, under the strict control of the Purple Magic Tower’s Disciplinarian (Female / Magic Tower Pecking Order 4th / Tower Master’s Favorite), all men in the Magic Tower were confined to the labs.
I, who was nearby when the incident occurred, could not escape from the barrage of smooches.
I was also chased around for several days with her shouting, ‘How dare you, a man, receive smooches from the Tower Master!’.
Back then, I thought collecting kiss data was beneficial; something I hadn’t even received from my ex-girlfriend. But when Centra was about to kiss Irid’s lips….I thought, perhaps…..
Wouldn’t it be an indirect kiss between the Tower Master and the Second Prince?
As that thought hit me, I reflexively pressed the shutdown button.
……I still don’t know why. Why I pressed shutdown. Was I so resentful of the Second Prince dodging my efforts early on that I wanted to spite him, even at the cost of breaking my beliefs? Or was it the stew made by the Tower Master that day?
Maybe I was delusional from the very start. Maybe I was, in fact, a selfish GM who valued my own happiness over the player’s……..
“EUAAAAAAAAH NO!! IT CAN’T BE!”
I clutched my head and screamed. It felt like my soul was splitting in half!
“H-Hey……..If you have a concern, talk to me. We agreed to help each other, right?”
Tap tap. The Purple Magic Tower Master gently pulled on the hem of my robe. Under the brim of her hat, one eye slightly covers, a pert nose, and small lips with a hint of flush──
I slapped my own forehead. And then, I laughed.
“Heh, heheh, heheheheh…….”
I was certain. I had gotten so ahead of myself that I got burned in the ass by the trail of flames left in my wake. To solve this, I had to eliminate the cause. And the current cause of the problem was a ‘lack of data’.
What if there were about thirty types of lip sensations in the database? Then I wouldn’t have hesitated. Irid could have shared a deep kiss.
If I had…….saved the sensation of a tongue in the database! Irid could have even shared a PASSIONATE deep kiss! It was my shortcoming. It was I, who was lacking! What a truly wretched feeling.
I couldn’t be trapped in despair forever. People must move toward a bright and brilliant future. Only those who act would not regret. So, I declared.
“Tower Master. I’m taking a week off.”
“S-Suddenly? W-Well……..That’s fine, but…..If you’re going to relax and have fun, maybe I can joi──”
“I’m planning to visit every single red-light district in the capital.”
“I will learn everything I need to know about the female body for data. Don’t look for me. Adios.”
“W-W-What, w-wait! W–Wait a minute………!! Don’t run and t-talk to m-me! HEY!!”
Crash Bang Thud.
My attempt to escape the Magic Tower for the grand purpose of completing the database’s version of the Eighty-Thousand Tripiṭaka1a Korean collection of the Tripiṭaka (Buddhist scriptures, and the Sanskrit word for “three baskets”), carved onto 81,258 wooden printing blocks in the 13th century. It is the oldest intact version of Buddhist canon in Hanja script. was subdued by the Tower Master after about 30 minutes of disturbance.
“……What are you doing?”
Since my attempt to escape the tower, the Tower Master’s gaze had turned strange. It felt something along the lines of ‘Ah, our son is at that age now’. Even though it was a decision for the sake of TRPG and a patriotic choice for the greater good!
…..Of course, I would be lying if I said I had no curiosity about the world of that unknown.
While fiddling with the simulation magic circle, I answered.
“Since the session is over, I’m logging.”
“I’m talking about ‘Second Prince Irid’s Heart-Pounding, Dizzying, Electrifying Exploration of the Empire 100-Years in the Future’. I’m leaving a record of it all. So I can reference or look at it later.”
“…..Your naming sense is foul.”
“What’s really foul is Tower Master’s panti…….”
“I-I! USE! CLEAN! MAGIC! E-EVERY! DAY! IN! THE! MORNING! AND! EVENING!!”
Every time the Tower Master emphasized her words, I felt a shock covering my whole body, as if stepping on Legos. I had to roll around on the floor, enduring this inhumane 『Pain Infliction』.
Leaving me to my devices as I writhed in pain, the Tower Master glanced over the simulation magic circle and commented.
“Isn’t the storage a bit big for 『Video Recording』 magic……?”
“I’m trying to save and store the data of the entire world. As for storage, well, maybe the Second Prince will give us a Dragon Heart if we coax him well enough? He did give us a Highest-Grade mana stone last time.”
“I already told you the Dragon Heart is a national treasure. I’m pretty sure you might even need to submit a petition to the First Princess, you know?”
“I can just wheedle the First Princess too. Done. Fin.”
“Well, ummm……….I don’t think it’ll be easy, but….since the First Princess is quite unique…..Kind of feels like she has a slightly different sentiment from others……?”
“I’m done logging. Let’s watch it together when we’re bored.”
“When we watch it together, uh, that thing….Popcorn? Was that what it was called? That tasted good……..Especially the ones coated in ca-ra-mel.”
“Sure. Just a moment. I just have to write the name and I’m done, okay? ’Second Prince Irid’s Heart-Pounding, Dizzying, Elec………”
“I told you that name is foul!”
“Then, what? Does Tower Master want to decide?”
“The Prince, The Flower, And The Resistance!”
“It’s a hundred times better than that heart-pounding, dizzying whatever thingy! Go away, shoo, SHOO…….!”
“Ah, ouch. Ow.”
In the end, under her coercion and tyranny, the log was named ‘The Prince, The Flower, And The Resistance’. Having saved the log, I turned off the lights of the simulation room and left with the Tower Master.
I still needed to contact the First Princess and repay the emotional debt to the Second Prince. He seemed to be diligently going around, inspecting the capital, Crownhall, so meeting him should be easy.
There was still a long journey ahead of me until the completion of the world. Fighting2refer to Chapter 1 footnotes on what this means. Let’s do this.
In the now empty-room….
The magic circle in the simulation room began to faintly glow.
- 1a Korean collection of the Tripiṭaka (Buddhist scriptures, and the Sanskrit word for “three baskets”), carved onto 81,258 wooden printing blocks in the 13th century. It is the oldest intact version of Buddhist canon in Hanja script.
- 2refer to Chapter 1 footnotes on what this means