༺ Ruthless Kindness (3) ༻
The bathroom was brightly illuminated by a beautifully sculpted luminous stone on the ceiling, casting light onto every corner.
The bathroom, designed for the comfort of one patient and their caregiver, was not spacious.
Naturally, the narrowness of the room created a psychological pressure difficult to put into words for Lizzy.
The only respite was the small window through which she could still see the blue sky. It was like looking at the world from the bottom of a well.
“Ah, ah……..”
But even this view was blocked when Ferzen, seated on a chair, obstructed her line of sight. Lizzy naturally lowered her head and let out a soft whimper.
Although he hadn’t done anything at this point, Lizzy could feel her trauma slowly creeping up on her.
“Uh, ah…….”
However, instead of showing consideration for Lizzy, Ferzen extended his large hand and gently loosened the front of her fluttering clothes.
Observing this, Lizzy started to cry as her whole body shook, like a lost child on a cold day.
How could his hand, which had only occasionally touched her bare skin, send shivers down her spine?
However, the deeply ingrained fear within her suppressed any thought of resistance, turning her into a mere doll, far from her normal human self.
Slide-!!
As soon as her naked upper body, which had lost a lot of weight and appeared particularly thin, was exposed to Ferzen, Lizzy brought her hands together and clumsily covered her small chest.
The humiliation and shame that all humans instinctively felt made her body react without consulting her mind.
However, as if Ferzen was not interested in her poor and shabby body at all, he just put her top which he had just removed on the floor, and went on to grab her skirt.
Flinch-!!
“Ah……”
For the first time, Lizzy was able to seize Ferzen’s hand purely out of sheer will.
It was a pathetic struggle that it would be absurd to even call it a resistance.
“……”
Even though there was no one who knew better than Ferzen that she had no power in her delicate hands to hold him back,
“Lizzy.”
“Heu, heuk……!”
“Let go.”
Rather than forcibly shaking her hand off, he muttered a word to break the silence, prompting Lizzy to voluntarily withdraw her trembling hands.
If there was a category of people who were the most miserable in the world, it would undoubtedly be those who had been conditioned to be submissive.
Such people were often called slaves by others.
Lizzy, in this regard, was perhaps even more miserable than those labeled as slaves. She had learned to be submissive to the enemy who had completely destroyed her life. So, she removed her trembling hand from Ferzen’s forearm without daring to harbor resentment.
Tuk-!!
In an instant, her skirt was removed, exposing her bare legs to the chilly air that hung over her skin.
But Ferzen wasn’t done yet. He grabbed her white panties that covered her womanhood and pulled them down. Lizzy closed her legs tightly, her body shaking even more.
“You… are really making it difficult.”
Flinch-!!
Though his voice was dry and low, Lizzy detected a faint irritation in it. Her fear grew larger, and she slowly spread her two slender legs.
In the end, as her underwear covering her private parts was completely removed, and her naked body was unveiled to him, Lizzy did the only thing she could…
“Heu…… Keheuk……!”
She shed tears.
How could it be so humiliating to reveal her naked body, unprotected by any clothing, to the enemy who had crushed her life, her family, and her home?
On the other hand, Ferzen turned away from Lizzy, picked up a bowl nearby, scooped some lukewarm water, and poured it over her.
Sigh!
Her greasy, disheveled red hair fell in an unsightly manner, possibly due to her confinement in her bedroom for so long, obscuring her vision.
Then, when he picked up the soap that was lying in the corner of the bathroom, Ferzen couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
Historically, soap was a type of beauty product that was difficult to distribute to everyone, let alone being provided for free to patients.
However, probably because it was judged that the value of soap was not very high even with such a history, the worldview that came alive from the author’s settings became so crude as this.
Just why did they struggle so tenaciously against the fates that they had been handed in such a poor and shabby world?
However, what meaning does such a sentiment have now?
Even in a world that was impoverished and bleak, it was still preferable to be a victor who possessed everything rather than becoming a loser who had lost it all.
The stark contrast between Ferzen and Lizzy clearly illustrated that belief.
Setting aside these thoughts, Ferzen grasped Lizzy’s head and gently tilted it backward against the chair.
As Lizzy’s eyes met Ferzen’s crimson gaze looking down at her, she shuddered and swiftly turned her head to the side.
However, Ferzen’s hand compelled her to face him once more, causing her to shut her eyes tightly.
Closing one’s eyes when gripped by fear, as with most people, only seemed to amplify that emotion…….
But the hand that was deftly forming soap bubbles and smoothing her hair was so tender that Lizzy felt her fear gradually dissipating.
“Heu… Ah…!”
With an almost defiant fervor, Lizzy forced her eyes open and locked her violet irises onto Ferzen’s crimson ones.
In a world where everything she held dear had been trampled and obliterated, she feared that she might become dependent on Ferzen’s feigned kindness, even though it was for his own self-satisfaction.
Could there be a crueler fate than having her most loathed enemy become her sole support?
Lizzy, determined to confront the fear stemming from her trauma, adamantly refused to close her eyes, even as she felt them growing bloodshot from the stinging sensation.
“If you keep looking at me like that, soapy water might get into your eyes.”
Flinch-!!
Flinching at his words, Lizzy was left perplexed as to whether he was taunting her or expressing concern.
With his large hands, Ferzen wiped away the soapy water running down her forehead, and Lizzy pleaded in a low, trembling voice.
“Please………”
She wanted him to cease what he was doing. She believed she would feel much better if he were to brutally mistreat her or even subject her to merciless violation.
Lizzy certainly entertained these thoughts.
Yet, it did not stop at mere contemplation.
“I’d rather have you…… Abuse me…… Or…… Rape me……”
Lizzy had reached a point where she voiced her pleas out loud.
But Ferzen seemed to pay no heed as he continued to pour water on her soaped hair and rinsed it thoroughly.
It was as if his actions were an unspoken pressure to compel her to take her own life if she couldn’t endure this violence disguised as cruel kindness.
However, how could she end her own life when her brothers had sacrificed so much to keep her alive?
She would willingly accept death at Ferzen’s hands, but she knew that would never happen. Just like their other dealings, what each of them desired from the other stood parallel.
Ferzen eventually left the trembling Lizzy alone and retrieved a few drops of perfume from some hidden space, applying it to the clean fabric filled with soap.
The scent of the perfume quickly permeated every corner of the narrow bathroom, a reflection of his taste.
Despite Lizzy’s strong resistance to having any of his influence on her body, was helpless and was forced into submission the moment Ferzen touched her bare skin……
Slide-!!
Afterward, handling her as if she was a marionette with her strings cut, Ferzen carefully raised her hand with the IV needle and used the soapy cloth on it.
When he touched her hand, he couldn’t help but wonder how frail it was.
Her ribs were faintly visible beneath her pink nipples, which stood stiffly due to tension. Considering her signs of malnutrition, it was only natural.
Once Ferzen finished soaping her upper body and moved in front of her to clean her lower body, Lizzy flinched and instinctively closed her legs.
However, her resistance was so feeble that it could hardly be called a struggle, and her legs quickly parted as his hand moved between her thighs.
“……”
As the pure white cloth gently wiped her crotch, Lizzy gazed at Ferzen, who stood before her with an impassive expression.
No doubt, for him, this action was nothing more than washing a toy he used to play with.
Once it’s over, will she once again become a doll that wears clothes that suit his taste and be played with?
Just like a child’s attachment to a doll that they slept with to relieve their anxiety, Ferzen treated her as a doll to relieve his guilt……
The moment her train of thought reached that point,
Guided by an unknown instinct, Lizzy moved her right foot and stepped on Ferzen’s left foot.
“Ah… Ah…”
That’s right; she did it voluntarily……
She pulled the trigger on the starting point that had led to…… Her, her family, and her house being trampled upon when it had been thrust into her head.
“Heu… Ah… Keu… Ah…”
The trauma that had been etched more deeply than any other trauma came to the surface.
That particular day eight years ago hazily appeared in her mind, and the cruel image of Ferzen crushing her left foot flashed through her thoughts.
As the image of the young Ferzen blended with the adult Ferzen before her…
“Keuh… Ha… Hahahaha…”
Lizzy let out a bitter laugh as if she had foreseen the impending future.
When Ferzen moved his right foot and gently pressed down on her left foot, Lizzy gave him a crooked smile.
Now that there was nothing left for him to break but her, what else did she have to fear?
She hoped he would stop pretending to tenderly caress her body with his left hand and mend her wounds.
Instead, she hoped he would ruin her to the extent that it matched his dirty and ugly personality.
But for some reason, Ferzen lifted his foot from her left foot.
Then he bent his knees and continued to wash her pale legs in silence.
“Stop… Stop fooling around… Stop fooling around—”
Lizzy, forgetting about the trauma that consumed her, let out the most heart-wrenching scream in the world at Ferzen.
Wasn’t it the cruel truth that, even though Ferzen could have chosen a different outcome on that day, he had chosen not to?
Why was a different result from back then now being proudly displayed before her eyes?
“Step on it… Step on it, I say… Like that day… Break my right foot… Like you did to my left foot—!”
Her frail hand weakly struck Ferzen’s head as he bowed with his knees bent.
His well-kept hair became disheveled, but Ferzen paid it no mind. After finishing washing her pale legs with soap, he took her hands and helped her rise from the chair.
After ensuring she wouldn’t slip, he gently pulled Lizzy into his arms and started to clean her buttocks.
The water, mixed with soapy bubbles, slowly soaked his uniform, but he paid it no mind and continued washing her.
He tied Lizzy up with a brutal force that stole her breath away.
Yes, it has always been like this.
The path she tread was always thorny.
The places she ended up were always cliffs.
Feeling this was nothing new, Lizzy just sobbed in Ferzen’s arms.
“……”
Once Ferzen had finished soaping her, he laid Lizzy’s body gently on the bathroom floor, scooped up some water, and began rinsing away the suds.
But as soon as he washed away all the bubbles, a faint foul odor gradually permeated the bathroom.
Drip-!! Drip-!!
Along with an embarrassing, clear sound,
Lizzy’s urine mixed with the water flowed down the bathroom floor and into the sewer pipe.
When Ferzen lowered his gaze to Lizzy’s face, he found her staring at the wall, completely blank and unfocused.
Her trembling from instinctive fear was akin to a puppy in front of a dog, and Ferzen calmly took the soapy cloth once more.
And when Lizzy stopped urinating…
He gently placed her upper body on the bathroom floor and continued washing her legs.
If a third party were to witness this scene, wouldn’t they see a person wholeheartedly assisting a girl with limited mobility?
On the other hand, Lizzy, who no longer reacted to Ferzen’s actions and laid there like a lifeless body, focused her hazy eyes on the blue sky beyond the small window.
“……”
For some reason,
In that cloudless, clear sky,
She no longer found any beauty.
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