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Memories

Chapter 25 -Memories

  “Meow…” 

 

  “…It seems tonight I’m dreaming about cats as well. It feels nice.” 

  

 

  I have been dreaming of cats a lot lately. That too, they seemed to be lucid dreams.  

 

   

  Of course, for someone like me, who is head over heels for cats, I couldn’t have asked for anything better.  

  

 

  The only thing that can comfort my exhausted mental state is these dreams filled with cats. 

  

 

  ‘…No, I should confide in Kania from now on.’ 

  

 

  Honestly, I wasn’t aware that Kania knew everything about me, so I was going to forge ahead all alone… However, such a path would have been too desolate to walk on my own, and I wouldn’t be able to bear the solitude.. 

  

 

  I felt pity for the cat doll, but it’s impossible to keep clinging and lamenting to a cat doll forever that could only make a meow sound. 

  

 

  “Meow?” 

  

 

  While I was dwelling on such thoughts, the cat in front of me tilted its head as if perplexed and approached my feet.  

 

 

 “…Huh?” 

  
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  Upon closer inspection, I discovered the black cat doll, one of my most cherished treasures these days, was staring at me with a dim gaze. 

  

 

  Only then did I realize that it was my beloved cat doll that mewed, and I cautiously asked a question because I was flustered at the thought that it might have noticed my true feelings.   

  

 

  “Uh… Did you read my mind?” 

 

  “..Purr!”

  

 

  Then the cat doll purred with a pouty expression and turned its head to the side. Flustered by this, I scratched my head and muttered. 

  

 

  “Well, since you’re in my dream, of course you would know what’s on my mind.” 

 

  “…Meow.” 

 

  “I apologize… I’ll stroke your belly for you… Ah wait, isn’t that what I like rather than you?” 

  

 

   After apologizing to the cat doll for a while, I suddenly scanned the surroundings and frowned. 

  

 

  “…This place seems familiar.” 

  
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  While I was looking around the familiar street that was evinced in my dream, I saw a little kid walking afar. I muttered in astonishment with my eyes wide open.  

  

 

  “…Isn’t that me when I was young?” 

  

 

  For some reason, my younger self was walking towards me while holding hands with someone. 

   

 

  Suddenly, I felt an urge to hide, so I dashed towards the wall, and the cat doll promptly followed me.

  

 

  While I was hiding behind the wall, my younger self stopped and pointed towards somewhere else. He let go of the other person’s hand and sprinted in that direction.

  

 

  “Damn. Just why…” 

  

 

   And, at that moment, I realized what’s this situation was all about. 

  

 

  “…Who are you?” 

 

  “Why are you lying down like that? Are you ill?”

  
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   Now, I was dreaming of the day I first met Ferloche.


“Th-That’s… I’m—” 

  

 

  Ferloche, who was lying on the street in a scruffy state, stared at my younger self with fear in her eyes, as he crouched down to examine her condition.

  

 

  The sight reminded me of Ferloche, who was glaring at me with contempt in the cathedral earlier today. 

  

 

 “…Uh.” 

  

 

  I hurriedly tried to close my eyes and covered my ears in fear of how the appearance of the young Ferloche in my dreams would affect me. However, for some odd reason I could still clearly see and hear what’s happening in front of me.

  

 

  “Here, drink this.” 

 

  “What’s this…?” 

 

  “Potion. If you drink this, you will get better.” 

  

 

  Ferloche, who received the highest quality potion from my younger self, asked him with a wary look on her face. 

  

 

  “You… who are you?” 

 

  “I’m the first son of the Ducal family of Starlight, Frey Raon Starlight.” 

 

  “Why are you being nice to me?” 

 

  “……..” 

  
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  Hearing her harsh reply, he put his hand on his chin with a serious expression and began to agonize over her question.  

  

 

  Then Ferloche, who had been staring at him with suspicion in her eyes, smirked as if she was already aware of his answer.  

  

 

  “I knew it… If I drink this potion, you’re going to kidnap me, aren’t you? I don’t need this potion. So take it back.”

  

 

  And from that point on, I felt confused and began to question myself. 

 

 

  ‘…Why is it different from my memory?’ 

  

 

  Obviously, according to my memory, Ferloche was supposed to say ‘Thank you’ while making her usual naïve and dumb face, then gulp the potion down her throat. So, why is the dream different? 

  

 

  “…Why can’t I be nice to you?” 

 

  “…Huh?” 

  

 

  After pondering over her question for a while, my younger self answered with a bright expression on his face. Meanwhile, Ferloche opened her mouth with a puzzled look.

  

 

   “What do you mean…?” 

 

   “Is it wrong to help the ill?” 

 

   “………” 

  

 

  Upon hearing his words, Ferloche closed her mouth shut, as my younger self took out two more potions from within his inner pockets and handed them to her. He then pointed to the cathedral in the distance.

  

 

  “Hey, there’s a cathedral! If you go over there, they’ll take care of you!” 

 

  “…I can’t trust that place. Some of my friends went missing after going to the cathedral.” 

 

   “…Sigh.” 

  

 

  But when Ferloche refuted coldly, my younger self sighed and was speechless for a moment. Then, soon, he cautiously offered a suggestion. 

  

 

  “…Then, would you like to come over to my house?” 

 

  “I knew it! You were a trafficker all along!”

 

  “What’s a trafficker?” 

 
  “You don’t even know that! I’m talking about thugs who kidnap kids like us and sell them!” 

 

  “…..?” 

  

 

  After listening to Ferloche’s angry rant for a while, soon my younger self heard someone calling out to him from afar and he bid farewell to Ferloche.     

  

 

  “…Sorry, I think I have to go now.” 

 

  “Now, hold on! Where are you going, you trafficker!” 

 

  “If you have nowhere to go, be sure to go to that cathedral over there! It’s a safe place that I often visit!” 

 

  “I knew it! That was your intention all along!” 

 

  “…Well, then take care!” 

  

 

  My younger self, who bid her farewell, turned around and hastened with eager footsteps towards someone standing in a distance, while Ferloche briefly inspected the potion in her hands then shouted stammeringly in his direction as she gazed at his fading back.

  

 

  “I-I-I’ll feed this to a passing-by rat and, if later, it gives off a bizarre reaction! The-Then… I’ll immediately expose the atrocities of the Starlight family to the public!” 

  

 

  After she huffed and puffed for a long time, she muttered with a sullen look.

  

 

  “…I’m running out of food. Should I really go to that cathedral?” 

  

 

  And the next moment, the world froze. 

        

 

  “…What?”

  

 

  When the black cat doll next to me scanned the surroundings in bewilderment after such an anomaly, a dazzling glow radiated near me.  

  

 

  “…Hmm.” 

  

 

  My brows furrowed seeing the glittering radiance, but soon I felt perplexed when I realized the glow was gradually spreading. 

  

 

  “Mew… meow…” 

 

  “…..?” 

  

 

  However, suddenly the cat doll trembled and hid behind me, then peeked its head out and began to stare at the light. 

  

 

  “…Kitty, what’s wrong?” 

 

  “…Meow.” 

  

 

  While I was looking at the black cat doll, I immediately sense a presence in front of me and instinctively I placed my hand on my scabbard.  

  

 

  “Calm down.” 

 

  “…What in the world!” 

  

 

  As I retreated along with the cat doll, a human figure emerged from the radiant light. 

  

 

  “…Who are you?” 

     

  “I’m a spirit that dwells in your sword, who will soon disappear once I run out of strength. For now, that’s all you need to know.” 

 

  “…What?”

  

 

  Soon, a person who has similar physical traits as I do emerged from the light and began to utter cryptic words.

  

 

  “I’ve been trying to interfere for a long time, but every time I failed to do so since I lacked strength?” 

 

  “…Lacked strength?” 

 

  “Yes. However, because of what you experienced today, your subconscious defenses have considerably weakened, so I finally succeeded in interfering with the memory I wanted to show you. What a relief.”  

 

  “…..?” 

  

 

  As I was looking at him mysteriously, the man suddenly smiled and drew his sword. 

  

 

  “Wait, what are you doing…” 

 

 – Schwiiing! 

 

 

   “……!” 

  

 

  And the next moment, the sky was split apart. 

  

 

  “Wh-What the hell… are… you doing…?” 

  

 

  I slumped to the ground trying to comprehend such an overwhelming sight, and when I asked in a quivering tone, the man pointed to the sky and said indifferently, 

  
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  “Look closely. It’s a vital clue.” 

 

  “…!?” 

  

 

   Upon hearing his words, I looked up at the sky and discovered the sun being cleaved in half. 

  

 

  I stared at him with my mouth agape, and the moment the man began to fade, I inquired in an urgent tone. 

  

 

 “So, what is that?” 

 

  “Well, for now—” 

  

 

  Then he said his final words while scratching the back of his head as he soon scattered and faded into the air.  

  

 

  “—just remember what you saw.”

  

 

   And the next moment, I saw darkness looming on the horizon as it engulfed everything in its path. 

  

 

   In a panic, I hurriedly picked up the cat doll that was trembling behind me and while I was looking around, I noticed something strange.

  

 

  “…Ferloche?” 

  

 

  The young Ferloche, who was still holding a potion, was staring at me. 

 

  “…Frey.” 

 

  “Why are..you here….!” 

  

 

  As I approached her cautiously, she soon collapsed on the floor.   

   

  “It… It hurts…” 

 

  “Aaah…” 

  

  

Ferloche’s body was riddled with wounds from the Demon King’s army. Her body was covered in scars with every weapon one can think of. Soon, tears of blood rolled down her eyes.

  

 

  “…It hurts, it hurts… I think I’m going to die.” 

 

  “No, no no… Why am I seeing this… I didn’t want to see her again… I didn’t want to remember this even by mistake… She has never appeared in my dreams before…?” 

 

  “Frey…” 

 

  “Why, just why the hell…?” 

  

 

  While I was trembling at the gruesome sight that I never wanted to see again in my life, Ferloche grotesquely twisted her neck, then in an instant appeared right in front of me and whispered. 

  

 

  “…It’s all because of you. Why are you pretending you don’t know?”

 

  “Gasp, Gasp…”

 


  I shuddered in fear without even thinking of backing away from this gruesome display when someone tapped my shoulder.

  

 

  “Sir Frey…” 

  

 

  And in the next instant, I heard the Imperial Princess’ mumbling in my ears. 

  

 

  “…Was it a satisfying experience to cleave my gut?” 

 

  “Gasp, gasp…” 

  
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   I kept my head lowered without daring to glance at the side. However, this time around, two people from behind spoke simultaneously. 

  

 

  “…Young Master, please give up.” 

 

  “…Give up and take it easy, Frey. Don’t fight till the end like I did.” 

  

 

  I bit my lips tightly as I listened to Kania stabbing herself in the throat and Serena’s gentle whisper. Soon I felt a strange sensation in my legs. 

  

 

  I glanced at my legs while still biting my lips tightly. I discovered Isolet and my father clinging onto my legs with a chilled smile on their faces, as blood dripped from their eyes.

  

 

  “…..Aaah.” 

  

 

  I closed my eyes shut and desperately struggled not to see them, but despite the darkness around, no matter how hard I struggled, their bizarre laughter became more and more distinct with each passing moment. 

  

 

  “Begone! Go away!!” 

  

 

   And for some odd reason, I felt a growing fear rise within me.

  

 

  It was indeed a never-to-be-watched again, gruesome scene, but it’s strange that I’m terrified of it. 

  

 

  Obviously my mental state… 

  

 

  “Huh…?” 

  

 

  Suddenly, I felt my body being dragged somewhere. 

 

  

  When I opened my eyes and looked around, I discovered the beings in my dream trying to drag me into an abyssal void that suddenly appeared behind me.

  

 

  I saw nothing but death and darkness there, and my instincts were warning me that something irreversible will happen if I let myself get dragged into that place. 

  

 

   “…Ha!” 

 

  “Meow!” 

  

 

  In panic, I clasped the ground, desperately struggling to hold on to it, while at the same time the black cat doll sunk its teeth into my legs and pulled me in, trying to prevent me from getting dragged into the pitch-black darkness.  

  

 

 However, was it because of the overwhelming number of people? 

  

 

 Or was it because the thought of giving up unconsciously crossed my mind? 

  

 

  I held onto the ground until my palms were abraded to the point that even my flesh was visible. Yet still I began to be dragged into the darkness by the beings of my dream. 

  

 

  “Meow!!” 

  

 

  The cat doll, who was frightened by the desperate situation, eventually let go of my leg and fled somewhere. 

  

 

  “…Yes, at least you will survive.” 

  

 

  After witnessing the scene, I heaved a sigh of relief and let go of the ground I was desperately clinging on to until then.   

  

 

  What will happen if I get dragged into that void? 

  
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  Will I wake up in the morning as if nothing ever happened?  

 


  Or will I end up getting corroded? 

  

 

  I don’t know. I just want to give up everything and rest for a moment… 

  

 

 – Shimmer!!! 

  

 

  “…Huh?” 

  

 

  As I watched my body slowly sink into the darkness in silence, a shimmering light on the horizon began to illuminate the world.

  

 

  At first, I wondered if the mysterious entity had returned, but on closer inspection, the situation differed from the time when they appeared. 

  

 

  Previously, when the mysterious entity appeared, radiant light was spread out in all directions. However, now the surroundings are illuminated by fragments of light.

  

 

  “”…Argh.””

 

 

  The fragments that lit up my surroundings burst out all at once and emitted rays of light. The beings in my dream, hit by those rays of light, were instantly burned to smithereens and eventually turned into ashes.

  

 

  -Sizzle… 

  

 

  The fragments of light, which melted away even the darkness that was about to devour me, soon penetrated my arms and burned like a flickering candle, gradually defrosting the icy fear that encroached on my mind.

  

 

  “…Meow.” 

  

 

  While I was staring in bewilderment at this scene, I suddenly heard the cry of the cat doll in front of me. 

  

 

  So when I looked ahead with a vacant gaze, I noticed the cat doll was dragging someone towards me with its teeth sunk into their ankle.  

  
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  “Kitty… you can’t bite someone’s ankle like that…” 

  

   

  I urgently tried to stop the cat doll, but soon when I saw the person in front of me I was left speechless.

  

 

  ‘…Isn’t that the person who was holding the hand of my younger self?’ 

  

 

  While I was staring intently at the familiar person, she soon stretched out her hand and clenched her fist. 

  

 

  – Shimmer… 

  

 

  Then the light fragments spread all over the place soon vanished in unison. 

  

 

  “…..!” 

  

 

  And at that moment, I immediately recognized the person in front of me. 

  

 

“If the Sunrise Imperial House is the sun that brightens the dawn of the Empire”

 

“And if the Moonlight Duchy is the moon that illuminates its dusk.”

 


  Before I realized, I was already rushing to her with a bright smile on my face as she continued talking.

 

“Then, the Starlight Duchy is the star that shines upon those devoid of their light.”

  

 

 “Uh…” 

  

 

  Suddenly, she began to fade, splitting into countless fragments of star, as she left me with one last piece of advice and vanished from sight.
  

 

 

“…So, you’re an aristocrat noble enough to protect everyone, Frey.”

 

 

 

   “Mother……?”

  

  
  And the next moment, I was on my dorm bed with my hands outstretched in the air. I muttered a word I had never used since I was a child. 

 

 

  “……..” 

  

 

  After being dazed for a while in that state, I carefully put down the black cat doll I was holding and glanced to the side. 

  

 

  “……..” 

  

 

  As I glanced aside, I saw Kania was still asleep. I carefully got up from my bed and headed to the desk. 

  

 

 – Gurgle.. 

  

 

  Eventually, I quietly sat down on the chair next to the desk and began to pour the rest of the wine into the glass. 

  

 

  “…Damn it.” 

 

  

  And then, I began drinking alone till dawn. 

 

  

 

  Of course, I didn’t feel any better. 

  

 

 . 

 . 

 . 

 . 

 . 

 

  

 

  “…Y-Young Master. Are you all right?” 

  

 

   As soon as morning came, Kania got up from her seat and rushed to Frey, who was at the desk. 

  

 

  “…Are you awake, Kania?” 

 

  “Young Master, is there anything wrong with your body?” 

 

  “…Why are you asking that?” 

  

 

  When Frey asked with a puzzled look, Kania opened her eyes wide and answered in a low tone. 

  

 

  “Oh, that’s… because I heard screams at daybreak.” 

 

 “…Ah, that.” 

  

 

  Then Frey answered with a grin. 

  

 

  “…I just woke up from a nightmare.” 

 

  “……” 

  
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  Upon hearing this, Kania quietly took a step and said with a stiff expression on her face. 

  

 

  “Then… I’ll bring you breakfast.” 

 

 “…Fine.” 

  

 

  As when Kania bit her lips and was about to leave, Frey called out to her in a low tone. 

  

 

  “…Kania.” 

  

 

  There was a tremor in his voice, so Kania looked at him with a concerned expression and inquired. 


 

  “…What am I supposed to do?” 

  

 

  Then Frey, who was holding an old scrap of paper, cautiously asked her a question.

  

 

  “…Let’s say that you devoted your entire life to the prophecy that was written in a single piece of paper, believing it was your destitny.”  

 

  “…Yes.” 

 

  “However… what if that very prophecy was wrong?” 

  

 

  Upon hearing his words, Kania looked at him with pity and replied with a smile.

 

 

  “Don’t worry too much. I don’t think the prophecy is wrong at all…”

 

  “…It’s already proven wrong on two occasions.”

 

  “What?”

 

   
  But as Frey spoke while swaying the paper in his hand, Kania’s expression turned stiff. Thus, she inquired. 

  

 

  “What do you mean…?” 

 

  “Even if we don’t consider the penalty regarding the memories of the Main Heroines… What about Ferloche’s past…? I was certain about Ferloche’s setting described in the prophecy…” 

 

  “…Young Master?” 

 

  “There’s something wrong with this… No, it’s been wrong since long ago…” 

  

 

  Frey soon crumpled up the prophecy and threw it into his bag, and began to mutter helplessly. 

  

 

  “If I can’t even believe the prophecy… What the hell am I supposed to believe…? The system? No… The system is the reason I became this way… Then, what in the world am I supposed to believe in…” 

 

  “….Young Master Frey.” 

 

  “Now I can’t even trust my own memories… What the hell am I supposed to trust…” 

  

 

  Kania, unable to see such a scene any longer, approached Frey and hugged him. She softly whispered.

  

 

  “Young Master, you can trust me.” 

 

  “……..” 

 

  “…Because I’m your aide.” 

  

 

  Thus, the two hugged each other for a long time.


  As their figures were illuminated by the morning sunlight permeating through the window. 

 

****

Translator’s Note:

 

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The Main Heroines are Trying to Kill Me

The Main Heroines are Trying to Kill Me

메인 히로인들이 나를 죽이려 한다
Score 9.2
Status: Ongoing Author: Released: 2021 Native Language: Korean
To save the hopeless Dark Fantasy World, I held back my tears and destroyed the world, then killed the Demon King and returned.   Now, I'm trying to save the world using the 'System' I gained as the 'Regressor's Privilege'...   But the Main Heroines have also awakened their memories of the previous timeline.   God dammit.

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