Mixed Feelings

Chapter 17 - Mixed Feelings

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  “You used me?” 


  “Yes, I’ve been using you all along.” 



  Hearing my cold words, Kania’s brows furrowed even more. As I looked at her coldly, I began to narrate my story.

  “I’m sure you already know that Starlight is the Hero’s family.” 


  “Yes, I know.” 


  “In our family, there is one prophecy.” 


  “You mean that prophecy?” 


  “Yes, it’s the prophecy that exactly a thousand years after the death of the Demon King, the heir of the Demon King and the Hero’s successor will reappear.” 



  After hearing those words, Kania quietly opened her mouth. 



  “…You mean to say you’re that Hero, Young Master?” 


  “Yes, but I have a curse.” 




  “The curse that the previous Demon King placed on the Hero’s successor in his desperate last struggle before his death. My strength is weakened each time people discover my good deeds. On the other hand, the more notoriety I gain, the stronger I’ll become.”  



  Kania responded to my words with a glum nod. I continued speaking, being optimistic that things might surprisingly be easy. 



  “So, I’ve been brazenly doing bad things since I was a kid. Because only by doing so will I be able to defeat the Demon King.”


   “Is… that so?”


  Upon hearing this, Kania gritted her teeth and asked a question. It seems like my impudent words have offended her. 



  “Yes, that’s why I did a lot of detestable things to you as well.” 




  “I have no intention of asking for forgiveness. After all, a single word of apology will never wash away the humiliation and pain you’ve suffered until now.” 





  Ignoring Kania’s distorted expression, I heaved a sigh and concluded my story. 



  “Since you’ve just discovered my good deeds, I’ll be in a weakened state for the time being.” 


  “…For the time being?” 


  “Of course, there will be a permanent decrease in stats. But, don’t worry. Even if my body has weakened, after a short rest, I’ll regain enough strength to defeat the Demon King.” 


 “I see.” 


  “Well, the penalty doesn’t apply to those who have already discovered my good deeds once… So, I’ll stop harassing you from now on.” 



  As I firmed my expression as much as possible and spoke without revealing any emotions, Kania also looked at me with an apathetic expression and said.  



  “Thank you.” 





  And, for a moment, a heavy silence descended upon the dormitory room. 



  “…I have one question.” 


  “What is it?”


  “I saw you doing something to me at dawn.”


  I remained silent when I heard that, as Kania gave me a frosty stare and asked. 



  “What was it you were doing?” 


  “…That was to help you recover with the Hero’s power.” 




  “Yes, aiding you in your recovery is a good deed, so I had no choice but to do it secretly. I apologize if I offended you.” 




  “From now on, I’ll help you recover once every night. If we skip even one day, it will cause serious problems.” 





  After Kania replied with a brief answer, we expressionlessly locked eyes with each other for a moment. 



   ‘…This should be enough.’ 



  Since I explained it this way, Kania probably won’t try to attack or attempt to take my life. 

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  Of course, it won’t solve her long-standing resentment, but in order to prevent her from wallowing in guilt, I had no choice but to explain it this way.



 “Then, I’ll take my leave. Young Master.” 


  “All right then… Oh, I’m going to visit the Duke’s mansion next week. Make sure to prepare in advance.” 





  Kania replied furiously and took her leave, as her expression finally crumbled down, seeing me being shameless until the end. Certainly, she would give me a look of disdain, since even if I was in her shoes I would have a contemptuous expression if you suddenly told me that all the people who tormented me all my life had a justified reason, and I need to understand their situation.    



  But that’s fine.



  Because I must be the only one hated. 



[Acquired False Evil Points: 10pts! (Mixed Feelings)]



  I suddenly recalled a question after momentarily staring at the system window that displayed the points I earned because of Kania, who discovered I’m a false evil.  


  ‘…By the way, what date is it today?’ 



  As my vitality and lifespan are massively drained, I forced my creaking body up and glanced at the calendar, then breathed a sigh and muttered.



  “It’s class again from tomorrow.” 



  Instead of recovering my body during the weekend that coincides with the Imperial Holiday, I received a debuff, and honestly it will be a pain to go to class tomorrow. 



  With my current physical condition, it won’t be surprising if I collapse within an hour of class. Besides, moving across the hallways might need Kania’s assistance.



  However, it seems I have to get through this somehow since there is still a lot of work left to do.



 – Creak… 



  I mumbled as I pulled out the ⟬Stone of Domination⟭ from the box I hid under the bed. 



  “…I think it’s time to help Irina.” 



  The raid on the commoners’ dormitory is approaching. 










  “Aren’t you a little late?”






  “Lady Ferloche, I wasn’t talking to you.” 





  After leaving Frey’s dormitory, Kania headed to the café in the back alley, where the Princess and the Saintess were waiting for her. 



  “So why the delay? You didn’t make the first move, did you?” 


  “I didn’t. It was just a personal matter.” 


  “Personal matter… I’m quite curious what Ms. Kania’s personal circumstances are?” 


  “…I would also like to ask you one thing.” 


  “What is it?” 



  Kania asked a question with an incomprehensible expression as she looked at the Princess, who was interrogating her with an intrigued look on her face.  



  “Why of all the places, the cat cafe was chosen as the secret rendezvous point?” 



  Clana, who was listening to her question, stroked the cat sitting on her lap. 












  And Ferloche, who was clinging to Clana’s side, slumped back with a crestfallen look on her face when her palm was swiped away by the cat sitting on the Princess’ lap.



  “You don’t seem to know that a cafe is a sanctuary for spies. Discussing secrets in a cafe is like selling your secrets to the Imperial informants for free.” 


  “…And cat cafes are different?” 


  “Of course it’s different. Cat cafes are a place where people come to pet the cats and heal themselves rather than to have a conversation. There is no way Imperial informants would come to such a place.” 


  “I see.” 



  As Kania said so, she briefly stared at Clana with disbelief, who began to pick up all the cats prancing around her and placed them on her lap. After briefly watching such a scene, she soon brought up the important topic.   


  “So, what are our plans for the future?” 


  “Simple. We are going to ruin Frey and kill him.” 


  “That’s right! We must kill him!” 


  “Is it all right for the Saintess to say such a thing so cheerfully?” 



  When Kania asked perplexedly, looking at Ferloche shouting with her fists clenched, she nodded and replied.


  “But the Sun God gave me their blessing?” 


  “Wait a minute, did you just say blessing now?” 



  When Clana asked with a shocked expression, Ferloche answered with a smile. 



  “Yes, I beseeched them to help me tear Frey to death, and they bestowed upon me their blessing! I did well!”


  “Tha-That blessing… Wasn’t it only possible to obtain by performing a sacred ceremony that took one year of preparation?” 


  “Eh? I just prayed earnestly. So didn’t they just answer my earnest prayers?” 





  As the Princess tilted her head with an absurd expression on her face, Kania frowned and muttered. 



  “Why would the Sun God…” 


  “…Huh? Did you just say Sun God?” 


  “Oh, that’s…” 


  “As expected, Ms. Kania is also interested in the Sun God! That’s great! When will you visit the cathedral and receive a blessing…!” 


  “I’ll die if I get blessed.” 


  “What!? Why!?” 


  “Because I’m a warlock.” 





  At those words, Ferloche slowly backed away, recalling the fact that the person in front of her is a warlock. 



  “What’s wrong with you? You even saw me use black magic at the auction house last time.” 


  “Oh, did I?” 


  “And didn’t you play with clumps of my dark mana with your hands?” 


  “That’s right! That was fun!” 



  Hearing those words, Ferloche approached Kania again with twinkling eyes and held out her hand. 



  “Ca-Can I have it again today?” 






  “I will never give it to you from now on.” 



  But when Kania refused coldly, Ferloche backed away and began to sulk again. 



  “Hey, we didn’t come here to play.” 



  Clana, who before long began stroking the seven cats sitting on her lap, opened her mouth and looked at them with a serious expression. 


  “Ms. Kania, I need you to gather evidence of the corruption that Frey is perpetrating. It will be much easier for you, as his butler.” 




  “Lady Ferloche, you should study this time around.” 


  “Yes! Got it… Eh!?” 



  While Ferloche was astonished, Clana glared at her and continued speaking. 



 “What’s wrong? You don’t want to lose your authority in the Church again in this timeline, do you?” 




  “Then, study and acquire knowledge. Only then will you be able to compete against those old men of the Church.” 


  “I see… but I’m dumb…” 


  “Let me help you with your studies. We need the Church’s influence to keep the Ducal family of Starlight in check. So I definitely need to help you grow… I’ll make you smarter and make sure you hold the highest authority in the Church.”


  “I-I’ll do my best!” 


  Ferloche exclaimed with a determined look on her upturned face, and just as Clana smiled with satisfaction, suddenly someone approached the girls from behind. 



  “…What are you girls doing here?” 





  This caused the Imperial Princess to scream in surprise, and the cats that had been sitting on her lap suddenly jumped onto the Saintess’ lap, and as such, Ferloche, who suddenly had to take care of seven cats froze on the spot and broke out in a cold sweat. 

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  Because in order to take part in the auction, the Princess didn’t attend the important event to determine her fiancée, and the Saintess didn’t show up in the major ceremony held once in a year, so they were both pursued by the higher ups.  

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  “…Pro-Professor Isolet?” 


  “You don’t have to use the honorific title outside. Your Highness.” 

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  However, the person who appeared behind Clana was neither an Imperial retainer, nor a cleric of the Church, but Isolet, and Clana who looked at her with an astonished expression, soon asked her a question with a smile.



  “…What brings you here?” 


  “I’m looking for an illegal magic store artisan who has recently been arrested in the back alley.” 


  “Then how did you end up in a cat cafe…” 


  “I searched all kinds of places and couldn’t find him, so I thought I might as well check this place. But he doesn’t seem to be here either.” 



  So, as Isolet said so and sighed, Clana, who had been nodding, suddenly clapped her hands and asked.



  “Oh, come to think of it, you were recently involved in the recent incident at the back alley auction house, weren’t you?” 


  “Yes, I was but…,?” 


  “What brought you to the auction house?” 


  “Oh, that’s… with Frey…” 





  Clana, who had asked for the purpose of gathering information, began to probe Isolet with a spark in her eyes when Frey’s name was mentioned. 



  “Sir Frey was there? Why?” 


  “Ah, that’s… because…” 



  At the moment Isolet stammered with a troubled look at her question, Kania quickly interrupted the conversation. 



  “Seems like the rumor that the Young Master is courting Professor Isolet is true after all.” 




  “Wha-What!? No!! I’m not his lover, it’s absurd!” 



  When Isolet was startled by her words, Kania lowered her voice and gently turned her gaze to the side. 



  “It’s said that you need to be lovers or a married couple to enter the auction house together… If you’re not a couple… Don’t tell me you two already have a child together?” 





   Isolet froze at those words and tried to make excuses while sweating profusely…  


  “I-It’s not like that…”

  “Does the child resemble the Young Master, or does he resemble Professor Isolet? Personally, as the butler of the Starlight family, I prefer if he resembled the Young Master…” 





  As soon as Kania raised the level of her remarks, Isolet’s chronic illness was triggered and she rushed out of the cafe in a hurry, with her face flushed red. 






  The Princess and the Saintess absent-mindedly stared at Isolet’s fading back, then soon turned their gaze to Kania, who shrugged her shoulders and replied.  



  “It appears that Professor Isolet has a special relationship with Frey. Earlier, she said she would give me private lessons. Therefore, from now on, I’ll be in charge of her to dig up Frey’s information.” 



  Hearing those words, the Princess and the Saintess nodded reluctantly, and Kania stood up from her seat with a satisfied grin on her face. 


  “Then, I’ll take my leave.” 


  “Are you leaving already?” 


  “Yes, I must get to work if I want to destroy Frey.” 


  “That’s right, then, farewell.” 


  “I-I’ll leave as well…!” 


  “You’ll be coming along with me to the library.” 


  “…Eh? Bu-But…” 


  “Did you forget what I said earlier?”



  Leaving behind Ferloche, who looked as if she had lost the world, and Clana, who kept pushing her with a stern expression, Kania headed for the entrance, her expression having reverted to her usual apathetic self.   










  ‘…From now on, Professor Isolet won’t be able to approach those two personally. The same goes for Irina and Young Master’s fiancée.’ 



  As I walked out of the store and stared at Isolet’s back, who was walking with long strides in the distance, my mind drifted off in thoughts. 


  This morning, the Young Master lied to me. 



  At first I panicked, but as I listened to his story, I understood why the Young Master lied. 



  He lied to relieve my guilt. 



  He is a hero who abandoned all the routes of comfortably defeating the Demon King at the cost of sacrificing others, and instead chose to walk the path of false evil.



It’s a harsh fate that in order to defeat the Demon King, he needs to earn ‘points‘ by committing evil deeds.


It’s a strange life where there is no one by his side who understands him.




  If it was up to that point, I would have just pitied him and wanted to be of help, but my heart wouldn’t have broken in this way.



  However, I continued to listen. 



  The shocking truth that young Frey revealed in the subconscious world.    



  When I asked him to tell me if any of Frey’s actions were out of care for me, he revealed the tragic truth that followed the words ‘He shared his own life force’.  


  “Frey’s mother… died fighting your parents, who were warlocks. Your parents coveted her mana, who had more radiant stellar mana than anyone else.” 




  “The idea was that by taking the most radiant of the stellar mana, then after corrupting… and injecting it into you as a child, they could create the most powerful artificial warlock in the world.” 


  “What… does that mean…?” 


  “However, the experiment failed. The warlock produced from the corruption of the stellar mana was more powerful than anyone else… but the curse of self-destruction, created by the imperfect fusion of stellar and dark mana, has drained your life force.” 


  “What does that mean!!” 


  “Later, when the sealed prophetic book awakened, Frey’s father, who learned this fact, broke into the laboratory, but in the aftermath of the creation of that self-destructive curse, your parents died, and in the end Frey’s father beheaded them with his sword and brought you and your sister along with him to the Starlight Duchy.”

  “…That’s impossible. I’m sure at that time the Lord was in the street…”

  “Frey, who then read the whole unsealed prophetic book, chose to magically manipulate his and your memories in case he would hate you, the daughter of the warlocks who killed his mother.”


  “Memory… Manipulation…?” 


  “Respecting that choice, his father transcribed the original prophetic book in his own crooked handwriting on another piece of paper, and gave it to Frey, changing only the prophecy about you.” 





“…This is why Frey deeply cares for you. He made such a choice because he feared he would hate you.”



  After hearing that story and even realizing that I had cut his lifespan as a penalty, I couldn’t help but throw up in disgust. 



  Because I was unbearably disgusted at my own existence as a warlock who was given such a ‘cursed’ mana.

  I hated myself because I was ignorant enough to try kill him with that power, even though I continued to suck his life force to cure the curse caused by that same power that uses his mother’s life as a medium.


  Even though the Young Master said it was enough for him alone to be hated, I’m the one who should have been hated by him in the first place.   




So, I made up my mind.


I would help him from the shadows.


If he, whose life is soon going to end, has decided to push my help away and walk his own path alone.


I vowed to respect that decision and secretly protect his back.


Because I, who originally deserved to be hated by him, am not worthy to stand by his side.




  “Of course, when that time comes, I will reveal the truth and I too will gladly be hated by the Young Master…”



  I muttered like that and quietly made my way to the dormitory. 



  “…And on the day when everything is over, I too will fade away along with him.” 



  It’s time to reinforce our strength in preparation for the upcoming raid on the commoner’s dormitory. 










  “…Lady Serena, what on earth is that?” 


  “Oh, this one?” 



  Meanwhile, at that time, somewhere in the Western Continent. 



  “…It looks like a wriggling earthworm. Why on earth are you holding on to it the entire trip?” 




  “Besides, why did you change the travel route to the ruins of the former Hero Han-Byeol Raon Starlight 1000 years ago?” 


  “Would you like to guess?” 


  “Hmm… I know that every time Lady Serena visits the ruins, you carefully examine the letters that look similar to the ones you’re holding right now… but the rest…” 


  “Oh, this means ‘Hero’.” 




  “It’s nothing.” 



  Frey’s fiancée, Serena Lunar Moonlight, was unknowingly threatening Frey’s life.


The Main Heroines are Trying to Kill Me

The Main Heroines are Trying to Kill Me

메인 히로인들이 나를 죽이려 한다
Score 9.2
Status: Ongoing Author: Released: 2021 Native Language: Korean
To save the hopeless Dark Fantasy World, I held back my tears and destroyed the world, then killed the Demon King and returned.   Now, I'm trying to save the world using the 'System' I gained as the 'Regressor's Privilege'...   But the Main Heroines have also awakened their memories of the previous timeline.   God dammit.


  1. Anon says:

    Ok, so if this Lady Serena is also a regressor, she should be wanting to tear Frey appart so she should be “knowingly” threatening his life, but instead she’s “unkowingly” threatening his life. Does this mean she knows of the prophecy?

    Share some of your thoughts I’m confused.

    1. Frolickity says:

      I think its because of her researching the hero’s ancient text which most likely contain the clues regarding false evil system, therefore she runs the risk of discovering the truth and maybe triggering the penalty unknowingly.

      1. Who Knows says:

        Ohhh, that’s also a very interesting interpretation… Will be very interesting to see…

  2. Ninninnin says:

    Thanks for the chapter

  3. Isaque9 says:

    Thanks for translating so fast

  4. lowiro says:

    Thank you for your hard work and thank you for the chapter~

  5. aCoffe says:

    Thank you. I love u work

  6. Ujang Kasep says:


  7. Haruto says:

    My condolences, Kania. Must be so heart-wrenching when your entire existence and all your attempts to kill him are actually a mistake.

  8. KL says:

    I would actually prefer if she stands by his side, but I respect her opinion…

  9. Nanashi says:

    damn, I really wish to see a saintess NTR given how cheerful she is…would be an easy task for a hentai protagonist to lure her in given her dumb personality

  10. AyeSir says:

    The normal reaction expected by the MC imo from the heroine when he revealed the truth should be logically be something like : You think i will believe your sh!t when i saw all the crimes you did in the past timeline?
    After all he don’t know she checked his consciousness.

  11. laliv says:

    That prophetic book confuses me. It had hidden writing that only protagonist could see and read, but his father somehow copied it, even though he couldn’t see it?

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